Glad No Matter What:
Transforming Loss and Change into Gift and Opportunity
by SARK
A Review and Artistic Response
by Elaine Clayton
GLAD NO MATTER WHAT by SARK is presented more as a living, breathing thing than
another book on loss. This remarkable book is the author's journal, and as
a working-journal in which the reader may add personal explorative thoughts and
feelings on a few pages. The book invites us to laugh and roll with feeling,
page by page. SARK courageously describes episodes of loss in life, particularly
a phase of life where she grieved the death of her parents and a loved and
revered pet, just as a love-life relationship ended. The title of this
book shows the determination behind it, for SARK learned how to be "glad no
matter what" even during this extraordinarily hard time of life, and this book
is about the strength these situations and others gave her.
GLAD NO MATTER WHAT is hand written in a rainbow of bright marker colors, in the
author's own hand and is visually very bold. At times the enlivening boldness of
the print on page is contradictory, the reader is drawn in by the bold and
beautiful color of the print, which has a celebratory feel; yet, while the print
itself gleefully marches along, it often imparts sorrowful truths as it does so.
The boldness of the print makes it all seem so BIG and bright that some readers
may have to push through that to get to the tenderness of the actual words
themselves. The meanings of SARK's words often feel they need to be
whispered, and we might rather see them in paler, pastel colors quietly
tip-toeing across the page, for the heart is delicate at times and certain life
situations shrink from exposure (such as the awful abuse she endured from an
older brother). Yet, as SARK endured many hardships and her spirit
compelled her forward, she tells of her life experiences as though shouting them
from the roof-top--and why not? Maybe the boldness in her honesty and expression
is what it takes to help others get beyond their own sorrows. In fact, she
describes how in moments of grief, people frequently change the subject, rather
than bringing feelings out into the open. SARK is saying that for too long
we've been too passive or even shamed into silence, in our grappling with loss
and change, and she seeks to readdress this in a fresh and lively way, her own
way, and she does just that. Readers of this book may not feel so shy about
their losses and emotional traumas in life, and instead may accept the chance to
create change and move beyond their grief. For SARK all of these emotions
around life's hardships, cruelties and confusions are to be played with, talked
about, dug up and sifted into personal joy and strength.
SARK writes generously, openly and honestly of her experiences of loss and
change and the gifts and opportunities that may arrive through coping.
This book is like an expedition, and SARK is exploring multifaceted nuggets of
feeling and thought, solutions and wisdom from deep within herself as we are
pulled in to explore for ourselves, to discover our own hidden treasure derived
from loss and change. She is sharing the beauty that loss in life
inevitably may give us and her courage in expression has the potential to
influence the reader to have courage, to break out and express, to seek answers
through self-expression and through contemplation (but the fun kind: she
encourages genuine pleasure in contemplation). She teaches us well; Sark
is entirely inclusive and personable; this is like a personal journal and she's
allowing us to see her process. Her mission is to motivate and drive us to
feel the joy of discovery and make well being not just possible but absolutely
real. Readers of this book are more like experiencers, SARK wants us to revel,
to see that we can also transform, in our way and in our own time.
GLAD NO MATTER WHAT is illustrated with fun drawings, simple line work creations
flashing with color, the kind of art most of us relate to. I refrain from
using the word "doodle" here since I see it as a term which seeks to make
purposeful and meaningful art seem non-necessary and marginal. Yet this kind of
art is the best ever, it is free and alive and is very much what helps give this
book the transformational integrity it has. SARK exhibits this kind of
free-flow between words and drawings showing how very significant that line work
is, how an arc of a line or a wiggle of color expertly completes the feeling in
a sentence, and highlights the bigger concepts she introduces. These
playful drawings serve also as sentimental, visual winks, which give the book
vitality.
The book also has photographs of a variety of imagery (a sculpture, a heart
shaped cookie, of cats and people, a collage, etc.) all giving the pages texture
and mobility. The table of contents breaks loss and change down in a
life-enhancing way, in eight sections, each filled with unique and unexpected
surprises. SARK takes us through stages of understanding grief and
transformation and offers easy-to-embrace techniques that work for her in
dealing with sadness and change. There are pages devoted to her favorite
web addresses, books and music, complete with a multitude of helpful offerings;
it is full of inspiring quotes and suggestions, from pouring baking soda into
bathwater for the healing benefits, to the number to her "Inspiration Phone
Line"). She isn't holding back, she's pouring out as much as she can to
get anyone who reads this book to be emotive, to feel and to think and to
celebrate life, even the struggles, especially the struggles. She isn't
afraid to belt out what her struggles were and are, and that offers the reader a
chance to participate in getting un-stuck and accepting change. She
encourages us to practice accepting change. She writes, "Life presents us with
so many chances to practice, because it's constantly changing."
GLAD NO MATTER WHAT by SARK reminded me a bit of my own sketchbooks and journal
entries. I related to it and it made me want to draw, to write, to have
fun as a person and artist. I'm a life-long sketchbook keeper and illustrator of
many books, so I was compelled to do a piece of art that would remind me of how
this book made me feel (feelings like facing sadness, facing loss and overcoming
it all by springing to life). I think being playful is mostly what GLAD NO
MATTER WHAT activated for me as a reader, and this artwork I made reflects what
it's like getting into a zone where self consciousness does not block the flow,
and even writing about hardships is fun in a way. I believe and I feel that SARK
believes that just by doing that, by getting into a flow and a zone where there
is no self consciousness or self criticism, a person can get into a joyful
place.
A few other features of his book make it feel inventive and creative, a kind of
book that keeps being available as a go-to for life situations. It has a
"Feelings Menu", just after the Table of Contents, which allows a reader to be
spontaneous and choose a feeling from the list (some are: scared; resistant;
inspired; flat; anxious) and then go straight to that section of the book to
discover ways to heal and triumph in spirit. And section number seven
provides a selection of "Portraits of Joy and Transformation Through Change and
Loss...", a page each devoted to personal testimonials from some of the many
people she spoke with about transformation after change and loss.
The book ends with acknowledgements followed by a "Transformational Change
Sheet". SARK writes on the top of this page, "Give yourself the gift of change.
Fill out this sheet, ask a friend or loved one to mentor you in your process of
transformation," which of course feels much like we're at the beginning of the
book again, or at the beginning of another exciting expedition, and she's taken
us there.
Elaine Clayton is the author and intuitive artist of ILLUMINARA INTUITIVE
JOURNAL WITH CARDS due April 2011 (Schiffer Books)